Promises from a slug are meaningless

Know what's crazy about getting cancer? Everyone thinks they should be a better person because of you. It's as if suddenly you become an innocent and helpless person and people want to change the world for you. Know what's worse? Being told your worth the change, then being let down.

When I found out about my breast cancer, I got a lot of messages and text messages from people. People telling me they were sorry and were praying for me. People telling me they are here if I need anything. Then were those people who told me, "That's it, I'm going to quit smoking." "I'm going to do everything in my power to be there for you." Annnnnddd then nothing changes. It's silly of me to expect anything different, isn't it?

I remember when I moved back home after living away for 8 years. I thought my phone would be off the hook with people trying to hang out, but the truth is everyone was consumed with their own life. I was okay with that, I swear. I realized quick that everyone has their own problems to deal with. That I'm not the center of everyone's attention. 

What I do not understand is why people feel the need to make a promise they can't keep. Just because I have cancer doesn't mean I need you to become a nun. Or a surgeon. Or for that matter, something you're not. Promising me the world to make me feel special only makes me feel shitty when you go back to your own life consumed with yourself.

I got a text the weekend I found out. It said, "Hey do you have plans for the Packers game?" I was shocked. My phone had been blowing up with messages from friends, wanting to talk and console me. It was the first message someone had acted like I was a normal human being. Still surprised, I texted my friend back, "Nothing, why?" His response was, "Sorry, wrong person. My prayers are with you." Ouch.

I'm still me. I'm still independent, still strong. I'm a fighter and I don't give up. I don't need your empty promises, I don't need your shoulder to cry. I'll pick up all of the pieces myself and carry on. With or without cancer.